Alright. I'm still here. And I'm glad of that, for sure. <3

On the 17th, (I'm pretty sure, anyway) it will have been exactly 1 year since I've moved to Melbourne. And -what- a year it's been. I know I've been on and off of here, for sure, however each person goes through their own phases and growth patterns, and I guess right now this is one of mine. It may feel like quite a long one, but I am opt to let myself know that it'll be worth it in the end.

I've got my own place, a bed to sleep on, my computer with me. I've got this bohemian little internet cafe down the road from my place, and plenty of things to occupy myself with if I so choose. I can play the guitar a little better, and I enjoy it.

I've started taking photo's again, and that's definitely lifted my spirits.

And I have beautiful friends. That's certainly something precious to me. <3


Hope you're all doing well, and good things to you all. x

Lovelove.

Sarah

(8)I'm frightened by the devil and drawn to those ones that aint afraid (8)



Well, it's been a while, hasn't it.

My pardons to those folk who have been sending me messages and notes- I will get around to these in due time. For me, it's been a bit of an uncertain time at the moment, and I'm having difficulty coming to terms which what this all means.

People say that life doesn't always go to plan, and I guess I really like to think that deep down, even if the waters seem storm-ruffled, that's just the tossing and turning of life in order to reach the calm at the end of the swim.

Perhaps that's what makes the beautiful moments so beautiful. Is feeling the moments of chaos in this life... I just don't ever really like feeling the chaos. I guess that's how it works, hey *chuckles*. The good feels good. The non-good feels non-good. *nods* That seems to make sense.

I'm about to make my way back to my new place closer to Melbourne city with two giant canvases. It's raining in heavy spurts, the wind occassionally tickles my sense of direction and my little room here out in suburbia feels almost part of my memories for good. There are so many more things I have in mind than this move, but at the moment, it seems rather all pervasive. I'm looking forward to the day when I can lie back and finish a book. Y'know, that's what I'll aim to do. I'll finish a book. Seems like a small start, but it's something. And I know I'll feel better for it.

(it's not that I haven't finished books before, it's just that I haven't finished one in a while. And I'd like to. )

So. It's started raining again. I'm about to wrap this up, and carry these giant canvases off into the rain. And out of all the choices I can make today, I'm going to chose to -love- it.

<3


With all of the best wishes until I return,

~ Sarah Jennifer Dute
xxx



... and she wanders through these dark times and the blind, and smiles as she feels her inner light... we're made to burn and shine on bright...

lovelove

Hey lovely people,

I'm sitting at the front outdoor verandah table with my gorgeous little neighbour, Madison. She's 6! We're both having a blast! Here's what she has to say:

I am going on holiday with my mum and dad and sister and special me and Sophie and Hugh are on holiday. I am going to vaccuum my house.

Woo! Go Madi! <3 She's precious. It took her about 10 minutes to write that, which is pretty good for a 6 year old! *chuckles*

Lots of love to everyone, have a fantastic holidays! Madi wants to say ONE more thing:

I like GOD because he is special and menkdjkfusoewjfo.


Teehee, VERY creative, Madi.

God is good, sweet girl. God is good. Simple as simple. Love to all. Happiness is all around. <3

xxx

Sarah Jennifer Dute
<3 *grins*

I wrote out a huge hunk of journal and then got rid of it all--- that's what happens when you stray from things and change music and mindsets and the works.

I'll leave the title, just for the sake of the connection. *chuckles*


Well, this morning, things are good. I had my last exams yesterday--- BOOYA! *dances on the spot* So exciting! I celebrated alone. *chuckles* Well, that's not true! I celebrated by speaking to lots of love online. Thanks Jase. Pardon Art, I fell asleep. And pardon Blake, I -was- asleep. *giggles* Hope your birthday night was phenomenal, though. <3

Mmmm, well. Lots going on right now. Things are good, life is sweet. I'm staying strong, I'm -feeling- strong, and -genuinely- strong... I think. *laughs* Haha, no, there's certainly strength in this, and flow as well. It's as though it's whispering that it's all okay, and always has been, and just would like it if I settle down and keep flowing with the good stuff. Mmmm. *nods warmly, eyed closed, smiling*

Poetry time! Yay! Spontaneous poetry time! *grins*


Can I feel your heartbeat a million miles away?
Yes I can, yes I can.
Can I sense your cheekbones touch a grin
and your paintstrokes of words, water, colour love
flow into forms of art life us?
I sure can, I sure can.

Can we be made of this?
Oh we are, yes we are,
How beautifully we are interwined
in the actions and movements and wine-and-dinings of life
that is us, that is us.

I feel your taste
I am next to those sensory little nerves
feeding them the good-stuff.

I am precious with you,
We are crystal that fades and reformes and shines forever
We are gentle and soft and solid and strong
Yes we are, yes we are...

We know each other, yes we do.
We met in spirit high-school,
and we had our special love-affair
a thousand years ago.





Sarah Jennifer Dute
x <3

The sun is shining, lets go play in the supermarket later today
the air-con's on and school is out, I'll change my uniform on the way out

*chuckles*


So, I figure it's time I updated this journal again. Last one was a little melancholic.

It's a good Sunday, today. I haven't done too much, woke up at about 10:30, which isn't too bad for me these days. *laughs* I'd still like to get up earlier, perhaps more like 8:00am. Howeeever, I'll have to make some changes to my lifestyle for this to be possible. Perhaps later on, I'm sure things will swing another way.

Mmmm. Do-bap-bap-de-ba-be-dap. Hehe. In a bit of a bizarre mood, for sure. *giggles* Ahhh well, I'm having fun.

It's interesting, being here on my own. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. I actually feel quite amongst my friends, a lot of the time. I'm just finding friends in different places than I thought. I know I've become a little bit introverted since I've come here as well (feel free to correct my spelling. ), though I'm not sure if that's still as it is. We'll see. I'm sure I'll change as time goes on. I always seem to (and yet always stay the same! *chuckles*). I guess that's the internal core, of us. Mmmm. Heart, heart.

Hey, by the way, thanks for calling me last night, Jase. Sort of a weird place to thank you , but I just figured I'd say it whilst it was fresh on my mind. Yeah, my phone battery died, don't quite know what happened there. *shrugs* Much love, though. Always. x

Mmmm, well. I have exams tomorrow. *nods, shakes head, grins* Ahhh dear. I do love exams. *giggles silently*

Things are looking up up up. Generally. Socially I'm still a bit out-of-whack. Oh well. I'm feeling good, just ... elusive? *looks up elusive with word* ....indefinable, hard to pin down, subtle, intangible, vague, indescribable, mysterious, obscure.... yeah, that'll do.

I guess this is also another way of me keeping in the social loop. *nods*


...Any last comments? Mmmm, no, not really. Aside that I've noticed myself having conversations with myself a lot lately. Interesting stuff. I'm not sure if that bothers the people around me or not, though, because in shopping malls and just walking along, I find that generally (and a lot more as of recently, really) people tend to just start conversation with me, or I can talk to a lot of people behind counters of safeway, coles, muffin break, etc, almost as though we were close friends in that moment. Maybe that's just another coping mechanism. *shrugs* All the same, I like it. There is love, there is love to be found...

Welp. I'm going to go and eat some of those yummy foods I've mentioned in my little side comments/info.

Lots of love to you all! <3 *closes eyes, smiles, dancing with you on sunny hills in my mind*


x
Sarah
<3